My Day

This is my day…

37/365

my day

Ain’t nobody ever notice what it’s worth.  (even though they really do)

Sometimes I feel like that lyric.  Today was a great example of feeling this lyric to my core.  If I’m honest, I have felt a bit like this for a few weeks.  Winter blues?

Often, I feel that my days are reduced to piles of laundry and endless grocery store trips.   The laundry never stays caught up, and we all know that 3 kids will eat you out of house and home in a day.  Let’s not talk about how many times a day my floors need to be swept.

I just can’t stay on top of all the things that need attention, and then I wonder why I even bother.  As soon as something is done, it is undone.  There is no sense of being done…ever.  We even tried hiring someone for a couple hours this week to help with a few tasks.

Pfftt.  I totally had to go behind her and clean.

On top of this, I’m homeschooling and trying to run a business.  Sometimes I wonder if that is wise, the business part.  Yet, I know that I would be a miserable to not have something that I enjoy, for me.  I spent my entire day on Saturday being June Clever, and while it is wonderful to accomplish much for the family, I felt the sting of monotony.  I felt the sting of Saturday being just another day of work.

Somehow there is balance to be found.  Somehow there is a way to mesh the two sides of me.  At the end of the day, I have always admired June Clever.

I remind myself to not let the days slip away.  Everything will be beautiful in its time.  The time spent tackling tasks is time well spent, and so is pausing to pursue things I enjoy.   I’m thankful for the bodies to clothe and feed; it isn’t that I’m ungrateful.  Don’t get me wrong.  It’s just that some seasons are hard in these gigs of mine.   I truly would not trade any of what God is entrusting to me in for something else.

I just need to be real, for a moment.  I need to own the struggle.  Doing so helps me move forward.

This is my day and I won’t let it slip away.  I just need a breather to reshape my perspective and tune my fighter instincts.  I won’t be beaten by dirty socks, meals to cook, floors to sweep, and lessons to teach.   I love what I do both in my home and in my creative venues.  A few off days are part of the territory.

What it boils down to is being beaten by my own expectations.

Linking with Songography {My Day | Danielle Bradbery}. 

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Comments

  1. I know how you feel, though I’m just starting out as a mama, with just one baby instead of three kids. But on days like that, I find it helps to break up the routine a bit. Instead of cooking dinner, go out to eat. Leave the laundry for tomorrow and go for a stroll at the mall, even if all you get is ice cream. Getting out of the house, even if sometimes difficult, is, for me, necessary for my sanity. :)
    Jade @ Tasting Grace recently posted..Momma Chat: On Being the Parent I AmMy Profile

  2. I know how you feel, well minus the kids at home. Some days I feel like I am go go go until I crash. I try to carve chore free time each night and on the weekends to balance i tall out!!

  3. “Choice” was always a big word for me. Not in the “what other choice do I have” sense. But in the I am actively choosing this. I had much to overcome in this area – my mom was sooooo negative. I spent my {literally} entire childhood knowing that my mom felt “put upon” … There was a sign in the kitchen that said “A woman’s work is never done. Or noticed. Or appreciated.” I was SHOCKED at the tapes that were in my head as I folded laundry or did dishes… Add to that the Christian “Proverbs 31″ woman that had become my ‘standard’ and I was often an internal mess! BUT…I clung to that word choice. And I really did retrain my thinking. Slowly! I also learned to talk about it and share the struggle like you’re doing here. I was much slower to learn the value of nurturing something that was just for me. Mostly, I was determined that my kids would look back and know that they were wanted and that there was nothing I wouldn’t do with them or for them. I hear your gratitude, and feel like I know your heart a bit…so I’m betting that’s what shines through at your house. Hope that getting it out there will bring a renewed energy as you wash and fold! Hugs!

  4. I agree, it is hard to have a job that is never done, and where you sometimes feel that you never really make a dent, and from which there really aren’t any days off. I also feel that an outlet, something in which I can experience a sense of accomplishment or progress helps provide a healthy balance, even though it can sometimes add to the stress. I guess in all things, we must take the long view, and know that the fruit of our daily labors will be born over the course of many years.

  5. Very hard in life to achieve the balance that we need and want. I think though that alot of it is trying to really enjoy and appreciate the moment that we are in!
    jeanne stone recently posted..MY DAY ….. IT WAS SO FUN!My Profile

  6. You have just sang every mother’s song – the seemingly endless and sometimes hopeless drudgery of motherhood. It does not diminish the enormous love and gratitude for our families or all our blessings – but more than ‘winter blues’ it is the heavy end of ‘redundancy’. It is the inevitable emotion that comes from doing the same thing week in and week out, taken for granted, often without acknowledgement, wash-rinse-repeat of it all. So often it feels as if you can not see the ‘why’ and in short time ponder: “if a mother doesn’t sweep one week, would anyone even notice?” For what it’s worth – a job well done is the job everyone comes to take for granted, the one they depend on, the one that keeps the wheels turning. And just when you wonder if it was worth the anonymity, your college age daughter gives you a hug out of nowhere and tells you how much she appreciates all you did – week in and week out. A good parent does the job without needing the applause. I’d wager a bet you fall in that category.

  7. Oh Kim – it’s okay. You are not alone. It is certainly never ending. I have ended up putting more & more on the kids to do for themselves & do for each other while I’m working. As I write the clothes that were washed last Monday are still sitting in the basket to be put away & tomorrow I will add to it. The only reason the towels & the kid’s clothes are where they should be is because the kids do their own. At this point of this busy time in life- I would be lost without the help of the kids. I think they care for me more now than I care for them. It’s a struggle. As we celebrate my son’s 16th birthday today I realize I don’t have many more years left with him here with me & I feel guilty for spending so much time working. I feel guilty for making his load so heavy around here & realize how much I depend on him. The inner struggles we go through as mothers can be hard. It’s important for us all to support each other & recognize are all have our things we battle with & keep each other going.

    LOVE & HUGE HUGS!!!
    Gina recently posted..Blackberry White Chocolate BuckleMy Profile

  8. nancyjean says:

    oh I think we can all relate! There are days that are just too much…too much laundry…too much cleaning…to many errands… And to top it off everything seems harder in this harsh winter!! But I do have to say … you have the cutest laundry pile ever!!

  9. Finding the balance between expectations, demands, commitments, and desires is tough work. But you just have to keep moving forward and make the best of whatever life throws your way that day. Personally, I find my “balance” comes easier once I make it out of winter. Winter weather tends to weigh me down in more ways than one. Great thoughts here Kim, thanks for sharing and joining in at Song-ography.

  10. I know exactly what you mean. Finding time for yourself and restoring your spirits is so very important

    Mollyxxx
    Molly recently posted..Day 41 – ColourisedMy Profile

  11. Your last sentence says so much!! I am in such a good place in my life. Always surrounding myself with positive and joyful people!! Always feeling that everyday is a good day!! The empty nest helps a lot as well!!

  12. Why does it seem that your days and mine mesh into one? Scary. I come here and read your thoughts and think, wow, that’s how I’m feeling…that’s what’s going on in my life.
    And it’s so beautiful when you say you are” thankful for the bodies to clothe and mouths to feed…”

    It really is all about the little things. Life is so short.

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