It wasn’t that long ago, or so it seems, that I laid upon the ground staring at the clouds with imaginations running wild. I’ve always been quite the dreamer. I dreamed of what was to come with that delicious feeling of excitement of all that lay ahead. College. Career. Marriage. Babies. I was in a grand rush to get to the goods of life, and yet these things seemed to come to me at a snail’s pace. It came to me much like Christmas comes to the child eager for Christmas morning, but it came. And it has all been good.
I’m 41…and a half. The half doesn’t hold the same clout it once held. This year it has hit me hard that all of those anticipated things are now beyond me. I guess you could say that mid-life crisis has paid me a visit. I feel young. What I feel inside, my mirror betrays. A scattering of grays and lines have become my new companions.
I often feel sorry for age, but not wisdom. I know that in many ways I’m just beginning. I wouldn’t go back. I’ve seen both sides now. I’m blessed with most of everything I’ve dreamed. Anything that didn’t come was to God’s good credit. What broke me in youth has forged me into a strength I wouldn’t trade.
On days when age really gets me down, I just log on to Facebook and see faces of days gone by. They’re old, too. It makes me feel a little better.
Linking with Songography, Joni Mitchell’s Both Sides Now.